Sleeping Beauty Final Fantasy IX
by Laer Aerlinn
Summary: Sleeping Beauty.What more can I say? It's my first humor fic, so go easy on me okay : Please R&R to make any comments or suggestions! The final chapters are up hooray so read the entire play!
1. Act 1-The Beginning

Sleeping Beauty-Final Fantasy IX 

Sleeping Beauty-Final Fantasy IX 

Zidane – Prince Freya, Vivi, and Quina – Good Fairies

Dagger – Princess Eiko – Wicked Witch

Steiner – Queen Beatrix - Narrator

Amarant – King

Beatrix-(enters)

Welcome to Alexandria's Mini-Theatre. Tonight we are proud to present the classic fairy tale 'Sleeping Beauty'.

(audience applauds)

Once upon a time, a King and Queen lived in a beautiful castle. Their kingdom was prosperous and very peaceful, but the only thing the King and Queen wanted was a child.

(curtain opens revealing a throne room where many people were gathered)

Then one day their wishes came true and a princess was born.

(exits)

Steiner-(trying to sound feminine)

Today we shall hold a celebration in honor of the birth of the princess.

Amarant-(whispers)

How did I get stuck in this stupid play? And even worse as the King.

Steiner-(whispers)

You think I'm happy? I'm playing a woman!…Although this dress _is_ my color…

(audience murmurs)

Freya-Ahem?

Steiner-(trying to sound feminine again)

Yes?

Freya-(bows)

Greetings, Your Highness.

Quina-We hungry! We want food!

Vivi-(stage whisper)

Uh, Quina? Your line is 'We are the fairies'.

Quina-But me want eat!

Vivi-(whispers)

You can eat later. Just say your line.

Quina-…Okay. We fairies!

Vivi-Uh…? Oh! We come bearing gifts for the princess.

Steiner-Wonderful!

Freya-I give her the beauty of a red rose…

(waves wand)

Quina-Me give her food so we eat!…Hmm, is wand edible? Oh, well.

(eats wand)

Vivi-O-okay…And I-

(lights go out)

Steiner-Mommy?…I-I'm afraid of the dark.

Amarant-Big baby. It's part of the play you idiot!

Steiner-Oh. Right. I knew that.

Eiko-(clears throat)

(laughs wickedly)

What a charming little party you're having. How dare you hold a celebration for the new princess without inviting me!?

Freya-Why would anyone want to invite a wicked witch like you?

Eiko-(begins to cry)

Oh, right. That's in the script.

(giggles)

Ahem. Wicked witch? Surely you are not referring to me?

Steiner-You-you must forgive us. We heard you don't like parties.

Eiko-What? I'm a party animal! Oh!

(clears throat)

I mean. Yes, it's true. I hate being around happy people. But I hate being ignored even more. However…I too have brought a gift for your princess…The princess will spend her days happily, loved by everyone for her beauty, her nobility, and her kindness…

(whispers to Vivi)

Why couldn't I be the princess? The description suits me perfectly, don't you think?

Vivi-Uh…?

Freya-Eiko, get on with it!

Eiko-Oh, alright. But on her sixteenth birthday she will be pricked by the needle of a spinning wheel…and she will die!

(laughs hysterically and exits)

Vivi-(whispers to Freya)

Eiko did a great job!

Freya-Yes, during rehearsal she said she couldn't even act!

Steiner-(falls stiffly to knees)

What a terrible day! The evil witch has cast a spell on the princess!

Freya-The poor little princess.

Steiner-Tell me, is there any way to break the witches evil spell?

Vivi-Here's my gift. The princess-

Quina-Wait! Me smell popcorn!

(runs off stage)

Vivi-A-alright…As I was saying, the princess will still prick her finger on her sixteenth birthday as the evil witch said.

Steiner-What good is that?

Vivi-I'm getting to that part!…But she will not die. She will fall into a deep sleep. And if one day she is kissed by a noble prince, the spell will be broken and she will awake.

(curtain closes)

Quina-Me want popcorn!

(runs across stage and into audience)

(end act1)


	2. Act 2-On with the play!

Beatrix-(enters)

Beatrix-(enters)

The King and Queen immediately ordered a proclamation that all spinning wheels in the kingdom be burned. Over the next sixteen years, their little princess grew into a beautiful, happy, young woman…

(exits)

(curtain opens and reveals the throne room and the "Queen" sitting on the throne)

Steiner-Princess, come here.

Dagger-(enters)

Yes…uh…mother? What is it you wish?

Steiner-Well…actually, I'd like a pony, so I could ride it around town and people would say, 'Ooh, it's Captain Adelbert Steiner of the Knights of Pluto!'

Dagger-Steiner!?

Steiner-Oh! Sorry. Ahem. Tonight we will celebrate your sixteenth birthday. So now you must get ready for the party.

Dagger-Yes mother, I can hardly wait.

(exits)

(curtain closes)

Beatrix-(enters)

The princess returned to her chamber and found a surprise waiting for her. A spinning wheel.

(exits)

(curtain opens to reveal a room with a spinning wheel)

Dagger-Oh my, what could this be? 

(touches needle)

Ah! My finger, it's bleeding! Oh…

(falls)

Steiner-Oh no, the princess has died! My beloved daughter!

(falls to knees and sobs)

Amarant-(whispers)

Man, he's getting _way_ too into this.

(fairies appear on stage, sans Quina)

Freya-Don't cry, good Queen.

Quina-(runs onto stage)

I back. I find no popcorn.

Vivi-Uh, Quina? It's your line.

Quina-Alright…Which one?

Vivi-(whispers)

'The princess has fallen into a deep sleep.'

Freya-(whispers to Amarant)

Did Vivi memorize the _entire _play?

Vivi-I heard that!…And yes, I did manage to memorize all the lines…

Quina-Princess go beddy-bye.

Vivi-Uh…? O-okay. The gift I gave her sixteen years ago has come true.

Steiner-Which one was that…?

Freya-Now we must wait for a noble, young prince to come and awaken her…

Quina-Me still hungry! Me no get popcorn!

(curtain closes)

(audience applauds)

(behind scenes)

Zidane-That's my cue! I better get ready. I'm in the next act.

(end act 2)

To be continued [maybe…:)]

This chapter is shorter than the last, but it goes by acts….Anyway, what'd you think? Review and let me know!


	3. Act 3-The Grand Finale

Beatrix-(enters)

Beatrix-(enters)

Time passed and one day a handsome prince visited the castle…

(exits)

(curtain opens and reveals a castle with a maze of roots outside)

Zidane-(enters)

(girls in audience whistle)

(blushes)

Hey, thanks. I'll take numbers after the show…

(clears throat)

Here it is. The castle….and someone did a horrible job with the gardening…

(fairies appear)

Huh? Who are you?

(takes out sword)

Freya-We've been waiting for you.

Quina-… … …

Vivi-(whispers)

Quina! It's your line again.

Quina-Umm…we fairies…and…we want popcorn!?

Zidane-Uh…?

Vivi-Quina, that's not the line!

Quina-But Vivi, me no know line!

Vivi-Didn't you even read your lines or the script?

Quina-Script?

Vivi-Yeah. It was on _green_ paper…

Quina…Uh oh…

Vivi-W-what?

Quina-Me ate script. Thought was frog. But it no taste good!

Vivi-Y-you ate…the script!?

Quina-Yes…

Freya-(whispers)

Vivi, just do Quina's lines. You memorized the play.

Vivi-R-right. We are the fairies, Your Royal Highness. We have been waiting for a brave, young prince to come to this castle for a very long time.

Zidane-(snoring)

Freya-Zidane, wake up!

Zidane-Huh? Oh, you're done? Alright, but flattery will get you nowhere. Why have you been waiting for me?

Freya-Because there is a beautiful, young princess sleeping here in this castle.

Vivi-She's been asleep for years under the spell of a wicked witch.

Zidane-Say no more. I'm there!

Freya-Zidane!?

Zidane-Oh, all right.

(very dramatically)

How tragic. Is there anything I can do to help?

Quina-…Only brave prince can break spell.

Vivi-Quina, you-you knew your line!

Quina-Huh? Line?

Vivi-N-never mind.

Zidane-Beautiful princess, huh? Does breaking this spell involve…a kiss?

Freya-(sighs)

Yes Prince, it does.

Zidane-In that case…

(raises sword)

I have this sword and I have my courage. I give you my word I will release the princess from the spell this day!

(sheathes sword, but it pulls down his pants)

Uh?…Heh, heh , heh…

(blushes)

(curtain closes quickly)

Beatrix-(enters)

So with those courageous words, the prince finds his way into the castle…

(exits)

(curtain opens and reveals inside of the castle)

Eiko-(laughs evilly)

So the prince has _finally_ arrived.

(whispers)

Took you long enough, Zidane.

Zidane-Yeah, well…

(points sword at Eiko)

You must be the wicked witch who cast this evil spell over the beautiful princess.

Eiko-You really think she's beautiful…? Minions, I order you to capture him!

(three moogles run on stage dressed as zombies)

Moogle #1-Yes, Queen of the Moogles, kupo!

Eiko-Queen of the Moogles? …Hey, I like the sound of that!

Zidane-En garde, you angels of the underworld!

Moogle #1-'Angels of the underworld'? Boy, that was harsh, kupo! 

Moogle #2-Yeah, tell me about it, kupo.

Moogle #3-Forget about it, kupo! Charge!

(the moogles try to battle Zidane, but each fall to his sword)

Zidane-Now for you witch!

Eiko-(screams in pain)

You miserable prince! I'm dying…

(falls)

Zidane-Uh, Eiko? I didn't even touch you with the sword yet.

Eiko-Oh!

(whispers)

Well…I'm dead now.

Zidane-A-alright…I guess I've slain the wicked witch. Now I have to find the princess and break the spell!

(curtain closes)

Beatrix-(enters)

With the wicked witch defeated, the prince began his search for the princess. And he found her…in the highest tower of the castle…

(exits)

(curtain opens and reveals the princess' chamber where she is fast asleep)

Zidane-Oh, she's the most beautiful princess I've ever seen…and I've seen plenty! Well I guess it's time for…the kiss…

(takes out breath spay and squirts it in his mouth)

Dagger-… … …

Zidane-(leans down to kiss Dagger)

Steiner-(runs on stage)

Wait, I won't let you kiss my daughter!

Zidane-Wha-? Rusty? You're not in this scene!

Steiner-Oh. Uh, sorry.

(exits)

Zidane-As I was saying,…it's time for the kiss.

(leans down and kisses Dagger)

Dagger-(opens eyes and sits up)

Oh, my prince has finally arrived…

Zidane-Yes, and I think I've found my princess…

(curtain closes)

(audience applauds)

(curtain opens a final time to reveal the entire cast)

Cast-(bows)

(louder applause)

(curtain closes)

(end act 3)

The End.

But wait, there's more…Read on for a special 'Behind the Scenes: After the Show' chapter!


	4. Behind the Scenes-After the Show

(behind the scenes)

(behind the scenes)

Quina-(munching what seems to be an extra-extra-extra large popcorn)

Me finally found yummy-yummies!

Eiko-Next time _I'm_ being the princess. What'd you think of that Vivi? Wouldn't I be perfect?

Vivi-Well…

Eiko-Well _what_?

Vivi-Well, …I guess you could be.

Eiko-You _guess_!?

Freya-You know Amarant, you really didn't have any _official _lines in the play.

Amarant-…You're right. So why was _I_ in this stupid play!? 

Steiner-…It was for the same reason I was a woman. How will I be able to face my fellow knights now!?

Amarant-…I'm sure you'll find a way…

Steiner-Really! Do you think so?

Amarant-No…heh, heh.

Steiner-Why you!!

Zidane-Come on, Dagger. Admit it! You enjoyed the kiss scene just as much as I did!

Dagger-You're crazy! I was just acting.

Zidane-It didn't seem like acting to me…

Dagger-(walks away)

Fine. Believe what you want!

Zidane-I will! Heh, heh. I knew she really liked me!

Beatrix-And so ends our interpretation of 'Sleeping Beauty'…I'm great at this narrating thing! Maybe I should make it my sworn duty to narrate all plays in Alexandria…God! I'm beginning to sound just like Steiner!

The End (Really!)

So what do you think of the whole thing? Review, review, review!


End file.
